The Dystopian Map
by Al Kristopher
Summary: Jack learns of a map that could take him to Aku, but he must go through great trials to get it. He won't be alone, though, as the Scotsman goes with him!


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Long ago in a distant land, I, Aku, the shape-shifting master of darkness, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But a foolish samurai warrior, wielding a magic sword, stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final blow was struck, I threw open a portal in time, and flung him into the future, where my evil is law! Now the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is Aku!!

The Dystopian Map

By Al Kristopher

_Once upon a time, long, long ago when I was still but a wee little lad, I followed the greatest adventurer my generation or any generation has ever seen. We traveled all across the world, searching for lost artifacts and rare treasures, and even though there were many dangers, I knew I could always trust my adventurer guide--my idol, my hero._

One day, we set out to claim one of the mightiest treasures of this land, and embarked on a dangerous quest across the wilderness, over mountains, across oceans and past deserts and canyons. The adventure was dangerous, even for my guide, but we managed to beat the elements and the odds and arrived at the Sacred Temple where the treasure was kept, deep in the northern corner of the world where everything was covered in a blanket of snow and ice.

I was allowed to go into the Temple, but only far enough so that the cold outside would not affect me. My guide went on, deep into the lairs of the Temple, risking life and limb as always for the fortune and glory that his newest treasure would bring. I waited patiently for him, confident that my guide would return and we would head home as heroes. I don't know what became of him, but he never made it out of the Temple alive.

Somehow, I managed to return to warmer climes, where I grew up and survived without any other adventures to speak about. After spending the last moments with the world's greatest, nothing else seemed worth my time, so I eked out a living and told my story to anyone who would listen.

It has been fifty years since that day, and as I grow older and watch the younger generations go off on their own adventures, I can't help but wonder what sort of dangers awaited my friend. For he was a skilled and wise traveler, and would rarely be caught in traps that would ensnare lesser men. All I can say is that the treasure is guarded heavily, and no man born in this generation will ever have the skill to go back there and retrieve it.

"What a bunch of baloney!" A drunken fish-creature cackled as he gave the old man's story a rude snort. "You really expect any of us to believe you? There's no such thing as a Sacred Temple on the North Pole!"

"Believe what you will," replied the old man in a slow, patient voice. "But I was there as a witness; I know what I'm talking about. If you don't believe me, you shouldn't have listened. I myself yearn for the day when somebody brave enough to face the dangers of the Temple will emerge and claim the treasure that my friend died trying to reach."

"Yeah, whatever!" The fish creature dismissed the old man with a wave, and stood up to find more pleasant surroundings. The old storyteller sighed, wishing that for once, somebody would believe his tale. He began to sense the presence of a person standing behind him, and pricked up his ears as he sat there patiently.

"Excuse me, but what sort of treasure is in this Temple?" asked a voice. The old man craned his head around, spying a tall stranger dressed in a white and gray robe, with a straw hat covering his head.

"A map," he replied, his voice rough. "And not just any map, but a detailed drawing of the entire world, every single square centimeter of it! It includes everything, from the unknown regions to the fortress of Aku himself, and rumor has it that it even changes itself along with the world's surroundings! People call it 'The Dystopian Map'." The stranger hummed to himself, considering the value of such an object.

"I see. I think I understand why your friend wanted to risk his life for this map. Tell me, is the Sacred Temple truly at the northern pole of this world?"

"Sure, but you're not really going to go _look_ for it, are you?"

"That is precisely what I intend to do," stated the stranger. The old storyteller's eyes bugged out in surprise, and could only sit in his chair in amazement as he watched the stranger leave.

"W-wait!" he called out. "Surely you don't really intend on going there alone?"

"And would you know of anyone suited to follow me?" he asked. The storyteller did not.

"Well, uh, no… not really. B-but you could… I mean… Surely you won't!"

"I'm afraid that I must," said the stranger as he left the small tavern. The old storyteller could only watch him leave, powerless to stop him. He sighed, shaking his head as he prayed for the stranger's safety.

"Good luck, traveler. I hope you know what you're getting into…"

No sooner had Jack stepped out of the small tavern did he encounter trouble. He had barely gotten used to the quiet noises of the polluted outer world when the roar of a dozen motorcycles greeted him. Stopping in his tracks, he stared ahead into the distance and spotted them blazing down the road, screaming like dragons as they neared him. He could even hear the riders, who were definitely not friendly.

"There he is! That's the guy Aku wants! Take him alive or take him dead! If you kill him, I'll claim his head!" Jack stood poised to defend himself, placing his palm around the hilt of his sword as he waited for the bikers to come to him. They roared closer and closer, the noise getting louder and louder as a cloud of smoking dust built up behind them.

Surprisingly, the motorcycle gang revved right past him.

Frozen solid and stricken dumb, Jack could only stand there and stare ahead wide-eyed, into the empty distance as the cloud of smoke covered him. He blinked a few times, not quite sure what was going on. With a cough, he turned around and watched the bikers (apparently very confused) roll on into the city, until at last they came to their target. A mighty explosion came out of nowhere, a sign that whoever the bikers were after was in a very cranky mood.

As Jack's vision cleared, he noticed that the person the bikers were fighting--and losing to --was a very loud, very strong, very familiar personage.

"Ah, ya bleedin' barbarians! Can't a guy even get one lousy minute'a rest when he travels aroond? Every time ah go into a town joos ta rest, ah always get picked on by ya worthless egg-suckin' sheep-shearin' ninny-noodlin' peanut-brained horse-faced space mongrels! Ach, donna whine; ye'll get what's comin' to ya!"

To affirm Jack's guess at the identity of the target, the _ratta-tatta_ of machine gun fire erupted out from the silent afternoon, blasting apart the bikers like they were made of tin foil. A few of them escaped, their bellies yellow and their backs spineless, leaving their target angry and irritable. Anyone who would've approached him from that moment on would've gotten torn apart, but Jack knew that he was one of the lucky few who would be safe.

Trying to keep a straight face, he walked right up to the agitated Scotsman.

"Getting into trouble again, are we?" he asked. The Scotsman turned around, and immediately shifted from bloodthirsty to overjoyed as he saw his old friend standing there. He shouted out and rushed over to Jack, slapping him with his large paw and laughing merrily.

"Ach, it's me friend! What in all the blazin' Aku-kissing world are ya doin' here, lad? Oh, ya haven't changed a bit, cept' yer no in trouble fer once!"

"And you have stayed the same as always!" replied Jack with a chuckle. The Scotsman smiled proudly.

"Ah, I see ya caught me at a bad time, lad. Them bikers I just polished off were after the price on me head. Appens' all the time whenever I got out shoppin'."

"You were shopping?" wondered Jack.

"Aye. It's me wife's birthday, an' ah wanted to get her a dainty present. Hey, maybe you can help me oot here!"

"Uh… no, I… was not really here to buy things," replied Jack reluctantly. "In fact, I came to this area because I heard of a man who could lead me to a treasure that would tell me the location of Aku's lair."

"Oh, ah see! So did ya find him?"

"Yes, in that tavern over there," pointed Jack. "He told me of a Sacred Temple located at the northern pole of this world, and inside of this temple, according to his account, is a map of the entire world--a map that changes whenever the planet changes. I intend to use this map to find Aku's lair and destroy him for good."

"Aye, sounds like a real good plan there, laddie!" said the Scotsman with a grin. "Ah've heard of this map from the clan druid, and he said that no man could ever reach it cuz' of the dangers surroundin' that area. But ah guess if any man can do it, it'd be you! Hey! Why don't ya let me come along with ya an' make sure you're safe?"

"You would do that?" asked Jack, and of course the Scotsman would. "No, I cannot delay your original mission. I will be glad to go through this adventure alone so that you can present your wife with a gift."

"Aye, well…" The Scotsman became silent, blushing a little as he glanced around him nervously. "Ya see, the thing is, me wife's birthday isn't for another week. Ah jus' wanted ta get her a present early, so I wouldn'o forget about it when the time came."

"Then it will not be a problem?"

"Ach, no!" bellowed the large man. "Ain't no problem for me, lad! Think of who yer talkin' to, now! Ah'm the man who helped you take on bounty hunters, mad druids, crazy sirens, and all kinds a' creatures! This'll be a piece a' cake compared to all that! (Sides)," he added in a low voice, "(Ah've been meanin' ta get outta th' house anyway. Me wife always gets a little irritable when her birthday comes up. It's just that whole age thing, really.)"

"I think I understand," replied Jack with a knowing smile. "Let us set off immediately, then. I only hope there are sailors brave enough to take us into the icy waters of the north." The Scotsman agreed with a mighty growl and accompanied Jack to the docks of the city.

"Aye! We'd be hard-pressed to find a seafarin' man in this town who ain't a sissy-boy jelly-bellied maggot-munchin' mush-for-brains coward! An' if we can't, we'll just swim there ourselves! Haha!"

At first, it seemed as if Jack's worries would come true. The hardy, salty, "fearless" sailors and freelancers of the docks were all adamant about going into the northern regions of the world. Weather aside, the land was covered with sheets of ice thicker than steel, and it was rumored that strange creatures lived in that area of the world, waiting for some hapless sailor to come by "for dinner". Others were willing, but news of the Sacred Temple and the Dystopian Map sent them quivering, as well. Jack and the Scotsman were about to give up, but their savior came just in the nick of time.

"Hey! Fellas! Rumor's going around that the two of you wanna sail to the north! Can't you find anyone with half a spine left in these docks?" The Scotsman bolted around, and saw a man just as tall and muscular and wild-looking as he was, standing there grinning at them both. He gasped and bounded towards the man, laughing out loud as he tackled him.

"Ach, it's me other old friend! Darred 'Shark' Thatcher, how in all the blistering worthless wastelands are ya, lad? Ah have not seen you since ah was married!"

"Old comrade, seeing you here lightens up my day!" The Scotsman's friend, a man known only as Shark by the people of the city, grinned broadly as he slapped the other man's shoulders. Shark Thatcher was a big guy, dressed in a heavy red overcoat with gold buttons, and had hair as red and wild as fire. He had an eternal grin on his face, and looked ready to face the most bizarre dangers and the most sinister perils. Jack felt like he was a million miles away as the two wild men shouted at each other, but kept silent and polite until the two old friends finished with their reunion.

"So what's a land-loving sheep-shearing pipe-playing knuckle-dragging dog of a man doing here in my city?!" shouted Thatcher. "I thought your wife kept you on a shorter chain!"

"Aye, but she's in that mood cuz' of her birthday an' all!" replied the Scotsman. He pointed to Jack, who finally looked like he was coming back in the conversation, and continued. "Me friend here wanted to go to the Sacred Temple at the north pole to have a look at that map that everyone talks about! Ah'm comin' with him on account of ah'm his friend, and ah need somethin' to occupy myself with while the wife's in her mood."

"Is that so?" he wondered, giving Jack an inquiring look. Jack stepped forward and bowed.

"Er, yes, it is. We have been searching around these docks, but have not found anyone willing enough to take us there."

"Not til' now, you haven't!" grinned Thatcher, pointing at himself proudly. "Them lily-livered goose-kissing cactus-hugging dirt-eating nose-picking buffoons would be afraid of their own shadow, if they ever stepped outside in the day long enough to see it! I'm ashamed!!! But worry not, milad! Captain Darred 'Shark' Thatcher is here to do the jobs that only a crazy person would think of doing! Heheheh…! We men of the sea have got to be brave and face the roughest dangers, or we'll just be laughed at for the rest of our days! Hahahah!"

"Aye, that's me friend!" grinned the Scotsman proudly as he laid his arm over Thatcher's shoulders. Jack looked at them both, and could honestly believe that they were good friends.

"So will you help us, sir?" he asked. Thatcher grinned and gave him a wink.

"Course' I'll help you! Why wouldn't I? I eat danger for dinner! I'll spit in Death's face and laugh about it! Heck, I'll take you there for free, _just_ for the challenge and the fun!" He bellowed out in laughter again, and the Scotsman quickly followed, jabbing Jack in the ribs a few times.

"Aye, looks like we're in for a peaceful trip at sea!"

"Uh, yes… Very peaceful indeed…"

The mighty ship bravely set out on the waters of adventure and danger, the only one willing (or crazy enough) to embark on such a perilous mission. The winds were delicate and warm that fine day, blowing in from behind to guide the ship into regions unknown; the sky was murky but calm, looking like a bowl of cloudy miso soup from below. Jack found his sea legs in no time and spent most of the first few hours simply staring ahead, wondering what sort of trouble he would face once he and his friend arrived at the Sacred Temple to the far north.

The Scotsman, though, was anything _but_ thoughtful. He laughed and shouted with Thatcher all throughout the trip, screaming and cursing wildly over mugs of beer, thick shanks of meat, and roaring fires that remained bright long after the sun went down. Jack was never really bothered with their noise--sometimes, it was even soothing, like when they both played a duet on pipes and accordion--but never really participated in any of their activities unless he was "forced" into it by the Scotsman.

"Ye canno' just sit there all day an' night and not do annythin'!" he exclaimed once to Jack. "Come on up an' have a little contest! Me friend here's been beggin' ta see what kinda man the legendary Samurai Jack is!"

"I… really should save my strength for when we reach the temple," replied Jack, declining the offer. Thatcher gave the smaller man a wry smile as he smoked his pipe.

"Aye, that you should, me lad. But we're still in warm waters here, and we won't reach the northern seas for at least another week. You've got the time to run a marathon here, if we had the facilities. You'll know we're close when I stop by this one little town to re-supply."

"Well…"

"Ach, ah knew ye'd see it our way!" laughed the Scotsman as he slapped Jack forward, into the small area where the contest would take place. Seeing as how he would probably not have a choice about it, Jack submitted to the wishes of his friend and decided to participate.

"Very well," he said, smirking slightly. "I will show you the extent of my training! But I must warn you, I am much stronger than I look." Thatcher raised a questioning eyebrow and frowned at the Scotsman.

"Aye, he speaks the truth there, Shark!" he exclaimed. "Ah've seen firsthand what this little man can do! He don't look like much, but th' price on is' ead' is even bigger than me own!"

"No kidding!" grumbled Thatcher. He gave Jack a second look, and sat down at a table that had been pulled out for the occasion. Jack joined him, and was told that first there would be an arm-wrestling bout to start things off. Thatcher crashed his large arm on the table first, and clasped it with Jack's. The Scotsman acted as referee and started them off. Jack struggled for a brief time to push Thatcher's arm down, but it was plainly obvious that the salty sea Captain had the upper hand (no pun intended). Thatcher easily slammed Jack's hand down and stood up to claim victory.

"Eh, he's a tough bird, he is," he admitted as he wrung his wrist. "The lad's built for speed, though--not power. He could probably run as fast as this ship sails, less' there's a strong wind."

"Aye, ah can vouch for that, too," replied the Scotsman. Thatcher smiled a wily smile, and stood up to test Jack again. He drew his cutlass, a long blade of tempered steel meant for stabbing and cutting, and held it before him defensively. Jack understood, and with a devilish smirk, he drew out his weapon as well.

"Let's see if that butter-knife of yours can do anything!" challenged the captain. He swung at Jack, who easily stepped aside and parried. Before Thatcher knew it, Jack had slammed the razor's edge of his sword down on the captain's cutlass, cleaving it in half with a deafening clang. The sword fell to pieces on the floor, along with Thatcher's pipe as the burly man's mouth gaped open in surprise.

"Well I'll be a toothless shark! That's a pretty strong knife ya got there, Jackie! Course', that old piece o' tin I got was barely worth killing cockroaches, but man…!" He laughed softly and gave Jack's shoulder a friendly rub. "I'm glad yer on my side, samurai. I'd be honored to take you the rest of the way to that map, so you can find Aku and do to him what you did to me sword." Jack smiled proudly, and put his sword away again as he bowed.

"Thank you. I hope to honor your act of kindness well."

"Aye, but enough a' this!" The Scotsman slapped Jack on the shoulder, nearly sending the poor guy to the floor as he made his way into their area. With an excited face, he began bellowing yet again, still hungry for action. "Now what say we get ridda this sissy stuff an' play like _real_ men? Who wants ta go shark-huntin'??"

"Shark hunting?" mimed Jack. Thatcher and the Scotsman grinned broadly.

"Aye, lad! The best way to sharpen one's senses in the open sea is to go huntin' for shark! And if ah'm no' mistaken, we're right in the middle of a dangerous grotto! Arm your harpoons and take a deep breath, lad, cuz' we ain't comin' up unless we've got a huge bounty!" The Scotsman, too excited to really think straight, was already diving over the side of the ship with nothing but his courage and brute strength to protect him. Thatcher laughed out loud as he watched his energetic friend dive in.

"Aye, he's a mellow one, that fellow is. Jackie, you comin' along?"

"Uhh…" Not exactly a fan of jumping into savage waters with only knives as protection and with a whole pack of sharks around the area hungry for a meal, Jack wisely declined. Of course, Thatcher would have none of it.

"Oh, come and spend some time with the boys, Jackie!" he exclaimed as he more or less pushed Jack towards the side of the ship. "We're not gonna be down there long! Tell ya what: we'll let ya go if you can capture just one shark, even if it's a baby!"

"Very well," said the samurai after a pause. He smiled at Thatcher as he removed his gi and took his sword out of its sheath. He even untied the braid that kept his hair tied up, before standing on the very edge of the ship, letting the wind play with his hair. Craning his head slightly, he added with a wry smirk, "But do not have a fit if the single shark I catch is the largest." He then jumped overboard with a splash, leaving Thatcher chuckling darkly.

"Ho ho hoo! We'll just see about that! They don't call me 'Shark' for nothin'!"

Jack snorted and tossed in his sleep, resting soundly with little else but silence to disturb his slumber. He was kept safe from the gradual cold by bunking in the lower quarters of Thatcher's ship, bundled up with great heavy fur blankets and warmed by a small fire in the room. The scent of the captured shark game still rose up and created a bit of a stink, so the creatures had been gutted, cleaned, and eaten by the crew of three. Jack had not eaten shark in a long time, so he slept well with a full stomach that night.

The Scotsman was at rest as well, which meant that only the loveable captain of the ship was on watch. Thatcher's great big red coat protected him from the cold, so he wasn't bothered at all once the chilly weather began to set in. He anticipated that there would be about a week of cold weather to come, and then perhaps a day of very bitter ice before he landed on the northernmost shores of the world. For the moment, it was only about as cool as a refrigerator, but it would grow worse as the days went on.

Most of the chilly days at sea were spent by fires, eating the remainder of the sharks or else telling rousing tales. Thatcher cleverly used the icicles that hung around the ship's masts in the early morning for water; they had gathered there from dew and mist left over from the previous night. The captain came well prepared for journeys into frozen areas, it seemed, since there was never really a need for anything except variety in meals. Fish began to thin out the further north they sailed, so everyone had to be content with what they had.

Eventually, the days wore on so many times over that the sky became blanketed in ice. The Scotsman began to grow patches of ice on his red mustache as the sun appeared less and less, and Jack was usually seen wandering around with a great big fur coat almost all the time. It was not torturous weather for any of them, since they all claimed to have "seen worse", and so they bit their bullets and waited for the North Pole to appear.

One day, when the wind was calm and the falling snow was gentle, the Scotsman's eyes spotted a chunk of land in the distance. He pointed to it, and Thatcher anchored his ship down before it could strike the icy shores. He lowered a dinghy, and the three adventurers got on and began to stroke. They kept shivering and coughing as the freezing air poisoned their lungs and crawled around their skin, but did not stop until they struck solid land.

"Looks like we made it!" shouted the Scotsman. "Ah reckon we could leave this thin' here since there ain't nobody round' to steal it! Come on!" He helped his friends out, and together they trudged through the ice and snow that had gathered around the great North Pole. Throughout their entire journey, there was never a doubt in any of their minds that the Temple existed. The old man and all the legends were just too accurate for any of that.

Thankfully, the Temple wasn't exactly located at the northernmost corner of the world, or else none of the three travelers would've made it. Jack spotted a large construction made out of dark stone in the distance, and shouted as loud as he could for his companions. The winds were howling terribly, so Jack had to outmatch it just to be heard. The Scotsman and Thatcher both rushed over to the temple, more eager to be in a warm shelter than eager to find a treasure. Jack ducked inside last.

"Ah… that is better," sighed the samurai, feeling the cold fade from his body as the warmth of the Temple revived his frozen body. The Scotsman and Thatcher sighed as well, and took a few seconds to rest before going inside. They came to an area that was totally free from the wind and snow from the outer world, and rested there for a longer period of time.

"It looks like the legends were true after all!" exclaimed the Scotsman. "Now it's only a matter of getting' through this infernal place. Jack, ya figure it's laden with booby-traps and that sorta nonsense?"

"I would expect nothing less," replied the samurai warily. "The man that told the story to me said that his adventurer friend did not make it out alive. I can only assume that this map is guarded well."

"Then we'd better rest and recover our strength," advised the Scotsman. He turned around and gave Thatcher a nudge. "Ey', are you comin' with us? It could get real dangerous from here on out, so we might need a third to watch our backs." Thatcher shook his head and declined.

"Nah… I'll pass. Sailing here was good enough for me. I'm no good anywhere else. Sides', I might slow you two down. I'll just stay here and wait for ya."

"Have it your way, but ya might regret that before the day's over!" exclaimed the Scotsman with a laugh. He stood up, already reenergized, and placed his hands on his hips as he called Jack to join him. "Well, c'mon then! We 'aven't got all day! If ya want to smash that Aku and accomplish yer mission, ya'd better get up an' folla me!"

"You are right," sighed Jack as he stood up. A smile was on his face, possibly from excitement or the thrill of a challenge. "Let us go! But let us go carefully! I would not want to rush through a place like this. We should be cautious."

"Aye. Just not too careful, eh?" The Scotsman smiled, and ran further into the temple, with Jack walking right behind him. Soon, the samurai lost sight of his zealous friend, but knew that he would probably pay for his excitement sooner than expected.

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After Jack quietly freed his friend from a minor snare, the two came across a bronze statue of a man that was about Jack's height. The figure was perfectly sculpted, hairless and muscular, and bore a plaque in its hands that had written words for any traveler that had made it that far to read.

"A message on the statue," observed Jack. "It says, '_Pay heed to what the statues say; read their words carefully. In order to retrieve the treasure, you must gather the seven gems scattered around this temple. Only those who survive these seven trials will have the right to the prize.'_"

"A fair warnin', and one we'll both be heedin', since this place has been the death of an adventurer already!" observed the Scotsman. Jack agreed, and kept the words of the statue close at hand as he and his companion rounded a bend and came across their first trial. They came to a very long hallway with doors on either side, and a great big enormous door at the very end. Jack and the Scotsman briefly glimpsed through the other doors as they made their way to the big one. When pulled, they discovered it was locked.

"It seems the seven gems mentioned by the statue are required to pass," said Jack, observing seven small slots on the door. He turned back to the hallway, somewhat intimidated by the number of doors and paths that were left unexplored. "I guess we shall just have to go through them all."

"Well that's a waste of time, specially considerin' that they may not all lead us to one'uh these jewels!" argued the Scotsman. Jack took that into consideration, and walked back to the other side of the hallway. He decided to start at the first door to his left, and invited his burly friend to go along with him. The Scotsman declined and chose the door on the right, thus splitting the team in two.

Jack entered into a very small room, just large enough to fit an immense painting on the opposite side, and three other walls. He carefully looked around the room for traps, then crept towards the painting. It was a picture of a spiraling tower ascending into heaven, and on the very top of the tower was a jewel that looked like a Full Moon. Jack read the inscription before taking the jewel.

" '_The Tower--ode to humanity's futile attempt at reaching God, and homage to unity and dreams. When Man reaches the Heavens, will his destiny be completed?_ '" Pondering over what was written, Jack walked out of the room and peeked into the next.

Meanwhile, the Scotsman had come to a similar room, where a similar painting was adorned with little else to show in the small space. He rubbed his stubbly chin carefully as he looked at the artwork, an image of the Grim Reaper ready to take its next victim. A black stone, perhaps obsidian, was embedded on the Reaper's forehead.

"What's this?" wondered the Scotsman, looking at the picture and its description. "It says, '_Death--an angel who is the cruelest and most humane bringer of equality, taking everything under its black cloak for the next life. If Man conquers this angel, will he yield a darker force?_' …Ach, whatever!" The Scotsman plucked the Dark-spot Stone from the painting and returned to the long hallway. He met Jack, also clutching a stone, and gave him a grin.

"Seems we're both successful!" he exclaimed proudly. "Nae how many a' them jewels did we need again?"

"Seven. We require five more."

"Ha!" belted the warrior. "An easy task that may be! Come on, friend; ah'll contest ya to see who can gather the most gems togetha! Ah'll prove to ya once an' fer all that ah'm the best man!"

"We shall see!" stated Jack, eager to accept another challenge from his friend. He tucked the jewel inside his gi and sprinted off to the closest door, with the Scotsman taking his own path. They both ducked into different doors, prepared for whatever dangers or mysteries awaited them. Neither one of them were disappointed.

After passing through a few rooms with nothing in them, Jack entered into a very large two-tiered area with four bronze statues littered all around. A stairwell provided access to the second level of the room; the four statues were each placed in a specific part of the room, facing in a different direction. Jack explored the first floor and found a door that appeared to be locked. A small scrawl had been etched into the wall: "_When the four statues face the correct direction…_"

The samurai rubbed his chin as he tried to unravel the riddle. It obviously involved the four statues in the room facing a different direction, but he didn't know what the proper alignment was. Puzzled, he walked towards the nearest statue, one close to the door, and noticed it was facing towards the entrance. He turned it, finding it easy to move, until it faced the other door. Nothing happened. He then turned it again until it faced every conceivable direction, but still nothing came of it.

"What a strange puzzle," he murmured to himself. "I feel I could be in this single room forever if I do not discover a solution. Perhaps I should explore other rooms to see if I cannot discover anything new." Putting the room with the four statues aside, Jack explored the rest of the hallway very carefully, looking for any kind of clues that would help him. Near the very end of the hallway, he found a room almost identical to the one he had left, except the four statues were facing different directions. After discovering he could not move them, he took note of their positions and returned to the other room.

Carefully, relying on the mental notes he had made, he rotated the first statue until it faced the exit. Then, he ran to the other side of the room, where a statue was close to the exit, and turned it until it faced the entrance. He then ran up the stairs, finding two statues waiting for him on that floor. He turned one until it faced the east side of the wall, then he leaped over a small chasm to turn the final statue to the west. As soon as he positioned all the statues in their "correct" areas, he heard a rumbling sound. Jack humped down from the upper floor and discovered the exit door was now open.

When he went inside the new room, he found a room just small enough to accompany a portrait of a noble-looking man. On the man's crown was a jewel resembling the Crescent Moon, and an inscription.

" '_The Emperor--a man destined to rule entire nations, and when he is dead, only his legacy will live on. Man cannot achieve physical immortality, though their names are seldom forgotten._' " Jack then plucked the stone from the painting and explored the next room down.

Meanwhile, the Scotsman was in a quandary of his own. He kept on running between two rooms, confused and babbling something to himself about paintings. One room led to a very long hallway where thirteen paintings were lined up, most of them ones he had encountered earlier in the journey, such as Death and the Tower. They were all arranged in a specific order, though he didn't think of this much at first. At the end of this hallway was yet another room with a painting very similar to one he had seen in the last hallway, and a strange dark-colored jewel on it.

" '_Chariot--vessel of mighty kings, guided by beasts and created by man, turned to a vehicle for bloody sport and war. When man rides atop these vessels, he faces victory and defeat all at once.'_ Ach, whatever!" The Scotsman snorted, and nabbed the jewel from the painting. It resembled a road, fittingly enough.

Sprinting out of the hall of paintings, he came across a room with many doors--fourteen, to be exact. One of them was locked, but the others seemed to lead into oblivion. Feeling overwhelmed, he simply dove into one. The Scotsman came to a screeching halt as he realized that the door led him into the exact same room, except on another side!

"What the--?! What's all this nae?!" he wondered out loud. He dashed through the door he had just been forced through, but came out in a completely different part of the room. Confused, he yanked on his fiery red hair and wondered what sort of witchcraft had possessed the room. Angrily shouting out curses, he finally took notice of several numbers carved above all the doors. They were Roman Numerals, except for Zero.

"What?" he blurted. "What's all this? Ah've seen numbers like this before! Aye, in that room with the pictures! Those things had numerals on them as well! But what's th' point? What'll it get me?" Confused, he slowly walked away towards the entrance, but noticed a statue in his way--a female one, with mysterious eyes. He looked closer and noticed that there was writing on the statue.

" '_Youngest first, except for Fools._' Huh? What's that s'pposed to mean?" The Scotsman scratched his head again, and sat down to figure out the mind-bending riddle. He muttered out the riddle in his head over and over again, trying to figure out what it meant and what its connection was to the paintings and the numerals. Suddenly, he remembered the painting of a Fool in the previous hallway, and its number was "Zero". He then remembered that _all_ the paintings had numbers on them--Roman numerals!

Feeling excited, the Scotsman ran back to the room with the paintings and wrote down their names and numbers. He then dashed to the room with the twisting doors, and carefully sought out the door with the lowest Roman numeral, ignoring the Fool's Zero. Carefully, he weaved through the doors one by one, going from smallest number to largest, until he had went through them all. When nothing happened, he walked through the Fool's Zero door, and found to his amazement that the fourteenth door was now open.

Smiling giddily, the Scotsman ran through the door and found a small room with a large picture of a Hanged Man, which he had seen before. On the man's hands was a stone that looked like a New Moon, and another inscription.

" '_The Hanged Man--receiving brutal justice for misdeeds committed during his life. Let Man be wary that no justice shall escape him, be it soon or late. All deeds are accounted for.'_ Ach, tis' true indeed!" Feeling confident with his three stones, the Scotsman ran out and decided to clench his victory with the remaining two. Of course, Jack would not give up without a proper fight.

-----

Jack and the Scotsman met again when they came upon the last unexplored door, the latter proudly showing off his three gems versus Jack's two. Two were still unaccounted for, though, so the contest was still anyone's game. Together, the two warriors ran into the final room, preparing themselves for what they hoped would be the ultimate task. Again, they were not disappointed.

Jack quickly discovered another female statue waiting for them in the final room. It read cryptically, "_Be not caught by the Guardian._" Not knowing what the riddle meant, the two warriors carefully traveled down the rest of the hallway, climbing up a steep cliff and entering into another room. There, to their surprise, they noticed that a male statue was moving around the room slowly, pacing back and forth by magical means, like a Guardian. Reasoning that this was what the female statue's inscription was referring to, the Scotsman and the Samurai kept their guard up as they crept into the room.

"Look, over there!" pointed Jack, keeping his voice low. He noticed that in the middle of the room, there was yet another door, large enough for both of them to fit through. At the very end of the hallway was yet another door, apparently what the Guardian was protecting.

"Two doors, two warriors, an' one stubborn piece'a magical stone that protects them both!" exclaimed the Scotsman. "Ah suppose we dun' wanna know what appens' when the Guardian catches us!"

"Indeed," murmured Jack. "I shall distract it and look into the room on the far side. You should be able to run into the large door while I have its attention." The Scotsman agreed to the plan and waited for Jack to charge. The samurai quickly darted to his feet, challenging the Guardian as he ran straight towards it. Sensing the presence of an intruder, the statue sped towards Jack at a very fast speed, forcing the samurai to vault over it at the last second. Not wasting any time, Jack raced for the end of the hallway as the statue turned around and pursued him.

"NOW!" he yelled. The Scotsman bolted ahead and managed to squeeze through the large door just as the statue turned around and noticed him. He breathed out a sigh of relief, but noticed that _another_ moving statue was in the same room as he was, although on the opposite side. Laughing at the ease of his escape, the Scotsman calmly walked to the far right of the room and ducked into another door, waiting for his comrade.

Meanwhile, Jack had reason to smile to himself as he discovered another small room with a large painting in it. This one was of a giant Wheel, and on the wheel was a gem resembling a Solar Eclipse. As usual, Jack read the inscription.

" '_The Wheel of Fortune--the object which fate uses to decide who gains favor and who gains scorn. As the rain and sun are random, so too are the whims of the Wheel.'_ " He quickly took the stone, crept past the Guardian, and rejoined his friend after avoiding the second statue.

After recovering his breath and showing off his newest treasure, Jack scanned the new room they had been placed into. One of the moving statues was in there, but the only door in the room was the one they had gone into. They reasoned that the seventh stone was in there somewhere, but didn't know its exact location. The Scotsman noticed a female statue in the room and read its inscription.

" '_The Guardian sleeps when it is tired.'_ Ha! Whaddya think that means?!"

"Maybe we should tire it out by forcing it to run around this room," murmured Jack. The Scotsman shrugged, and volunteered to try it out first. He got the statue's attention by razzing his tongue out proudly, and ran from it as it pursued him. Jack watched in shock as his burly friend came rumbling towards him, but at the very last second, the statue turned around and slowly shuffled in the opposite direction. The only thing that seemed tired was the Scotsman.

"Maybe I should give it a try," said Jack. He calmly walked towards the statue, following it all the way through the room until it did an about-face. He barely had any time to react as it dashed towards him, but leaped over it safely and watched it shuffle to the end of the room, where the Scotsman was waiting. The burly warrior stood in its way again, forcing it to run after him, but he dove to safety before the Guardian could catch him. Jack patiently waited for the bronze creature to come his way, and timed his jump when the statue began to speed towards him.

"This may take awhile," he said, noticing how very un-weary the thing looked. Suddenly, he was taken by surprise as the statue wheeled around and charged towards him. With no time to jump, Jack could only yell as the Guardian caught him. In a flash of dark light, his body twisted into a vortex of time and space and vanished from the room!

"ME FRIEND!" The Scotsman shouted out for Jack, but no response came. Thinking the worst had happened, a bloody rage overcame the Scottish warrior and he raced towards the statue with murder screaming out of his soul. He blasted at the rock with his machine gun leg, and sliced it in half with his great Runic Sword. The statue crumbled into pieces, and to his amazement, a stone shaped like a Blood-Red sun popped out of it.

Carefully, the Scotsman picked it up and examined it. He would've normally been ecstatic over getting the final piece and winning the contest, but he could feel no cheer for the loss of his comrade. A feeling of sudden bravery (or sudden foolishness) overcame him, and he ran out of the room looking for another statue. He found one lurking around a small room, and deliberately got caught by it. His plan was to find his friend and rescue him, regardless of the fate thrown at him. In his mind, either they would both make it out or neither one would.

After being thrown through a dark pit, the Scotsman found himself landing in a large room filled with spikes and needles. Samurai Jack was already there, squeezing himself as tightly as possible in order to avoid some of the nasty barbs. The Scotsman shouted out for him, and came to his rescue with his sword chopping everything to pieces.

"It looks like ya got yerself into another mess!" he exclaimed. "Yer jus' lucky ah came by an' found ya! Oh, by the way, ah won the contest!!"

"My congratulations!" exclaimed Jack, still worried about the spikes. "It seems we solved the mystery of what happened to the previous adventurer who was here." Both Jack and the Scotsman looked around, and noticed a very old skeleton lying in a pit of needles. They both cringed.

"Ach, what a terrible demise! Ah hope the same fate dunna befalls us!"

"Not to worry," said Jack. He pointed to a statue that was in the room. "Do you see that female statue over there? She has a place where we can insert one of the stones and be transported out. It requires the Blood-Red stone, according to the inscription."

"Aye, that's not a problem!" exclaimed the Scotsman proudly, displaying the crimson jewel. "Ah jus' happen to have one in me possession! Let's get outta here before we're skewered!" Jack eagerly agreed, and held onto his friend tight as he placed the Blood-Red jewel in the statue. Immediately, through some otherworldly magic, they were transported from the spike pit into a safe room, just a few steps from the large door at the end of the main hallway.

"Well ah'll be a ratty rotten mongoose drizzled with gooseberry jam and laden with the treasures of Karkatoon!" exclaimed the Scotsman in amazement. "We've been taken back to the old hallway! An' there's that bloody door, still as large an' empty as ever! What say we give it these accursed rocks and be done with our mission?!"

"I am with you all the way!" replied Jack boldly. Together, the two warriors inserted the jewels in their designated places, and waited for something to happen. With all seven in place, the door swung open with a rusty groan, revealing one final room, covered in darkness. Awaiting them in the very center was…

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. The room was completely bare.

Needless to say, the duo couldn't help but stare in shock.

"Uh… was there supposed to be a map here?" wondered Jack. His friend shrugged.

"Aye… but… ah dun' know what happened to it. Ya think we've been bamboozled?!"

"No… there has to be a better explanation." Slowly rubbing his chin in thought, Jack walked around the dark room, wondering what new sort of trickery was at hand. As he lowered his head, he caught sight of some very peculiar markings on the floor. He peered at them in confusion, and slowly began to piece them together with passing thoughts and fancies floating in the depths of his imagination. Just then, it hit him.

"I figured it out! The _floor_ is the map! We're standing on the very map itself!!"

"Ya dunna say!!" spat the Scotsman in disbelief. He lowered his head and glanced at the floor, and sure enough, he noticed that the entire area was one great big map of the world, drawn with perfect accuracy and almost fit to scale. He whistled and whispered out his amazement, but Jack spent his time studying the drawing. He came across one area that piqued his interest more than anything, and dedicated it to his permanent memory.

"I found it! This is where Aku's lair is! It is quite far from where we are now, and I have never been in that part of the world before, but… now it seems I will have the advantage! I can now use this map to sneak up on Aku and defeat him once and for all!"

"Great, lad!" exclaimed the Scotsman happily. "But do ya plan on takin' this whole floor with ya?"

"There is no need!" exclaimed Jack with a wolfish smile. "I have found what I came for! Let us leave this place! I shall deal with Aku as soon as possible!"

"Aye!" agreed his companion. "An' while yer doin' that, ah think ah'll get me bonny wife her birthday present!"

"You mean in here?"

"Sure!" he exclaimed. "Those seven jewels we worked so hard to get are sure to be worth a king's ransom! An' ah would never get nothin' else but the very best for me bonny wife! Hold on, sugar-lumps! Ah'm comin' with yer present!" The enthusiastic warrior bounded out of the room, hungry for the gems that he and Jack had struggled to attain. The samurai couldn't help but laugh as he followed his friend out of the room and the Temple itself, back into the cold of the North Pole and what he hoped would be the final leg of his journey.

The End


End file.
